rise in peace

in the aftermath of friday's tragedy in isla vista, as a ucsb alumni and former resident of the small town, i've been overcome with a lack of words to attach to this tremendously sad happening. as a true believer in signs, however, i knew exactly what i wanted to say when i heard of maya angelou's passing on the radio this morning. the poet and activist was and is my inspiration to write and to commit to peace. in honor of her, of the fallen ucsb students, and of those who fall victim to hate, i share one of maya angelou's most famed poems, and ask that in peace, we all rise.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

- Maya Angelou
April 4, 1928 - May 28, 2014

take me back...

 

waikiki. wailoa. puueo. mauna kea. kona. HILO.

--

the colors, the breeze, the swaying of the trees. the peace, the ease, and the warmth of the water. i know home will always be there. and i know i will always go back.

hunting eggs in joshua tree...

because sometimes there are just no words. hope you bunnies had a happy easter. 

xo

so buddha walks into a bar...

sweet title. and what a great concept, applying Buddhist teachings to modern, everyday life. and what a clever cover! i've been reading this book for over a week now and i only just now noticed Buddha sitting among the top shelf bottles. yup, exactly why i need this practice. really seeing what is in front of me, becoming more mindful, more aware of my present surroundings, that is what i am working towards. it is what we should all be working towards, allowing us to open our hearts and become in tune with our natural goodness. in turn we will be able to lead more full and truly happy lives.

first goal: mediate. 

just 10 minutes a day. 

mind focused completely on the breath. 

air. 

water. 

waves. 

surfing...

no, breath!

when ones mind slips from the present, 

a slope slippery as the moss beneath

a waterfall,

"just say 'thinking'" 

and return 

to the breath. 

acknowledge your thoughts,  

they are neither good nor bad,  

then just return 

to the inhale. 

exhale. 

inhale. 

exhale...breathe.

--

i'll keep you posted. xo

letting go

Last week I met with my mentors, Sojourner and Ann. It was the first time the three of us hung out all together. We sat with tea and talked. The conversation shifted naturally like a branch in an easy wind, from art to current events to common friends. Then as random as the breeze, we began talking about the things we clutter. I learned Sojourner, like myself, held on to many things, namely old letters and books upon books of writings and journals. Things, that in a fire, would be the first thing you would rescue. We spoke about the inability to let these sentimental items go, yet also the necessity in doing just that once they are lost.

The thought provoking topic was followed, just days later, by the loss of my iPhone. This also meant the loss of priceless pictures of my birthday camping trip, a disco dance party, and all the fun and memories in between. Then I realized, this was yet another reminder from the universe that I needed to learn to let go. I was reminded that all things change, shift, and eventually go away; on eternities time table, lasting as long as a snowflake in the sun...

Snowflake in the Sun
Undying love no doubt expires
like food and life itself.
Starry eyes go dim, the heart retires
to forever’s failing health.

Money grows then falls from trees
to an ever increasing cluster
of limp and dying leaves
whose green have lost their luster.

For there is no certainty
in life, we must concede.
Everlasting impermanence is all we can foresee.

--

Remembering and accepting the ultimate impermanence of all things makes it easier to let go. Whether an iPhone or old letters, an old love or insecurities of a new love, once we realize letting go is something we must all learn to do, there is freedom in the release...

Untitled
Can holding on ever be
greater than letting go?
I fear my grip is slipping,
yet I have no fear.
Freedom is found in the release.
Free as the bird in flight,
dusting the space ever so slightly
above the sea,
completely confident in its direction.
How can one be so certain of a route
they cannot see?
Maybe I could fly blindly into forever
if there were no such thing as time.
Who says timing 
is everything?
 
Timing did not create 
the moon rises and sunsets.
WE created time to make sense
of that simple, senseless beauty.
Where is time?
When is it time?
What is time?!
Nothing but a barrier to be broken.
Let go of the tortures of the tic tocs
and feel yourself float towards infinity,
nearing the Heron’s horizon.

Holding on only works
once you let go.  
You will not say goodbye,
you will open the door
to the inevitable unknown.
Not “in time”
time = now.

--

So whatever you may be holding on to, just know that it is ok to let go. 

xo 

the transfer of inspiration

a good friend and sister of mine shared with me a TED talks video featuring the French street artist JR who won the TED talks prize for a "wish to change the world". watching him speak about his wish, got me thinking about my wish. with so many things i wish i could change about this world, where do i begin?

i sat and thought. as that video was passed to me, the inspiration was too. now i sit here letting the inspiration well up within and flow through me, and i hope as you read this, into you. we all begin to fulfill our wish to change the world through the transfer of inspiration.

this past week i was inspired by my mentor to do my very first open mic reading of some of my poetry. offering me yet another attempt to transfer inspiration. when we continue to pay it forward for whatever cause may be, we create a chain reaction of people thinking about how, they too can change the world.

following is one of the poems i was inspired to write and read for the open mic, and below that the TED talks video on JR. may you greet this day inspired, and one step closer to making this a better world.

for brandon elizares (02.04.96-06.02.12)

i didn't know you.
through scattered stories and collaged memories
now i know,
they knew you even less.
how much did your spirit endure
before it gave out?
the way a wall will fall
from unending thrown stones.
had those hands lifted you up,
would we be laying you down?
if those hands were taught to heal,
to instead use stones to build an empire
filled with warriors
for peace,
we would be walking on a path of love,
and not drowning
in your loss.



a special thank you to a couple of my inspirations: b. alia & sojourner

freedom writer.

in my wildest dreams i would travel the world
one thousand times over.
i would paint the pastures of switzerland and sing
the songs of africa;
write a poem for every brick
of china's great wall.
i would be free
to fly.

but never did i dream that freedom's ride
began on a bus.
for in my dreams we all dance
together to the chime of india's
bollywood beat.
our vibrant colors melt together
and flow
down the mississippi,

where blood once flowed.

the road alongside it
paved by bus riders,
paying the price
so we could be free.

free to ride
free to dream our wildest dreams
and wake
to live them.

some day i will walk
from the sands of egypt,
to the shores of hawai'i
and write in stone along the way:
freedom—
and equality—
for all
is no longer just a dream.

::

last week, while mindlessly surfing our umpteen cable channels, i stumbled upon a PBS broadcast American Experience: Freedom Riders. since then i've tried to make an ongoing conscious effort to refocus my spirit from frivolous worries to gratitude for things we haven't always had: love. equality. freedom.

this february, i remember these things. i celebrate african american history and those who stood up against the face of hatred—in peace. may we honor the freedom riders and those like them. may we seek universal equality. and choose love > hate. always.